Stop bleeding money. One minute a week.

Build me a native macOS app that turns cleaning my MacBook into a guided fullscreen ritual. Pure SwiftUI, macOS 14+, zero dependencies, fully offline. Requirements:

- Calm start screen. Fullscreen takeover only when I click Start: borderless NSWindow at screen-saver level, Dock and menu bar hidden, display sleep disabled, gentle 1.2s fade in. Esc always exits with everything restored.
- Keyboard lock during keyboard-cleaning steps via a CGEventTap (needs Accessibility permission, so sandbox off, hardened runtime on). Swallow keyDown, keyUp, flagsChanged and system-defined media keys. NEVER include mouse events in the mask: the pointer is the escape path. Always-visible clickable Exit button, plus a hard auto-unlock timer that disables the tap from a background queue even if the main thread freezes. Handle tapDisabledByTimeout by re-enabling, and keep the UI lock indicator synced to the real tap state with a 1s truth poll.
- Trackpad step is the mirror: swallow mouse events instead, freeze the cursor with CGAssociateMouseAndMouseCursorPosition(0), any key press exits. Never lock keyboard and pointer at the same time.
- The ritual is data, not code: gather (microfiber cloth, lukewarm water only, never sprays or alcohol), screen wash, light check, keyboard, trackpad, body, ports, done. Every instruction must trace to Apple support articles 102365, 103258 and 104948, kept in one auditable content file. Nano-texture screens get their own branch: dry Apple Polishing Cloth only, never liquids, asked once in onboarding with a conservative default.
- Screen step runs on pure black so real dust is visible. A soft light dot traces one-direction overlapping strokes at cloth speed, rows computed from the screen size so no gaps survive, with a live percent-clean counter. Then a pure-white light check step reveals the oil smudges the dark pass missed.
- Ask room brightness at every ritual start. Dark rooms invert the flow: a countdown that says flashbang in 3, 2, 1, then a white wash screen, then a softer warm lamp mode for the remaining steps so the display lights the physical keyboard.
- Draw my REAL keyboard on screen: detect ISO vs ANSI with KBGetLayoutType, resolve every key legend from the active input source with UCKeyTranslate, build the L-shaped ISO return as one connected shape, and light each drawn key as the guide passes it, keys staying lit once cleaned. Include the hinge strip, speaker grills and palm rest in the sweep, routing around the trackpad because it has its own step.
- Cleaning reminders every N weeks via UNUserNotificationCenter, one-shot trigger rescheduled on every launch and completion, permission requested only when the user enables it.
- Without Accessibility permission everything still works in honest timer-only mode.
- Ship it properly: stable Developer ID signing from the first build, notarize and staple both the app and the DMG, and detect App Translocation so the permission actually sticks.

Or just download it. It is free.